Most people view themselves as "good," right? Well, sometimes, you're the asshole. You don't mean it, but you're just in a position where what you say and do is far douchier than the other people involved.
Walking home the other night, I stopped as I noticed a man who could barely walk he was so drunk. Swaying this way and that, and eventually hitting a walk and slouching back against it, I hailed a cab to make sure he got home safely. The cabbie told me he wouldn't take him; I promptly ignored him, shoved the man into the backseat, and asked for his address. The cabbie refused again, this time, more adamantly. I yelled at the cabbie, "You're gonna leave him here like this! How could you do that, don't be a prick!" I became so upset that he wouldn't help his fellow (extremely wasted) man. We've all been there. It ended with the cab driver agreeing, but each of us uttering curse words at each other and basically parting on the worst possible terms. It was like a real life "Curb Your Enthusiasm" moment, and I was definitely Larry.
I had exchanged E-mails with a "Jesse" about a client meeting happening in a few weeks. "Jesse" is a girl, right? SHE works in PR. SHE has blue font in HER E-mails. So there I am at Porter Novelli in the lobby, and I notice a young man, about my age, looking around. "Joe?" he asks, and proceeds to shake my hand as I say, "Oh hi, Jesse!?" Not even a second went by and I said, "I thought you were a girl!" He looked sort of emberassed, and just laughed awkwardly. I then felt bad and slightly awkward, so I did what I always do - which is the worst thing for the situation - I talked more. "Oh, well...Jesse was the name of a girl I knew in high school! Jesse Fishman! Isn't that funny!?"
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