On December 24, 2008, I fell in love.
This love was not reciprocated.
The unique aspect of this love was not that it was forbidden, but that it was completely unexpected, and initially, more overhwelming than anything I had experienced. I analyzed it in my own mind and wrote it off as misplaced emotion or simply lust, but at the end of the day it consumed me; the more I believed it to be untrue, the more deeper it became and the more I found myself feeling that I needed to attempt to bring it to life.
If love is being on the same wavelength, if it's feeling an unconditional sense of devotion and praise towards another, if it's a feeling of elation when you think about someone; or, if love is embracing the notion that you could change, and examining the WAYS in which you would change, to please or win approval from he or she who is "holding you hostage," then I was in love.
This was not a real love story, with a humble beginning, a turbulent conflict, a glorious union and confirmation of that love, and finally a tragic ending that left us in ruins; this was love on a one-way street. I overextended myself and believed, going against rational thought, that this person had matched my enthusiasm and felt the newfound energy and potential between us, as I had. This was in fact far from the truth. I can only attempt to explain and define what transpired and am only now beginning to accept it for what it was and retire it, peacefully, to memory.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
The Call That Changes Your Life
Can you pinpoint a phone call that literally changed your life? Are you able to trace significant events in your life back to the a time and place when a certain number showed up on your cell phone's screen?
It was almost a year ago to the date; January 18, 2010. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. I was at the CVS/Pharmacy at 87th and Lexington on my lunch break, pickup up something I had a coupon for (I think they were Life Saver mints, but I can't quite remember). What I do remember, while standing by the greeting card section, is my cell phone ringing. I picked up the phone to screen the call, and noticed a 508 area code on the screen; it was a number I had not saved in my phone. "Hello?" "Hi, is this Joe DeGrandis?" "Yes it is" "Hi, this is Kathleen from Genzyme Genetics." Kathleen went on to tell me a little about their genetics laboratory, about the clients they work with and the sorts of genetic and diagnostic testing they offered. One thing that I remember crystal clear is her telling me that "if offered the job, the company will give you a car to use." At that time, this was so foreign, since I'd lived in New York City for close to seven years and had gotten by sans automobile, usually on foot and via mass transit.
Flash forward to the present. Since that phone call last January 18, I have learned a great deal more about the business of American healthcare as a representative for a laboratory company than I ever thought possible. It's been exhausting, exciting, intriguing, frustrating, and enriching, to say the least. There were crash courses in genetics and reproduction, and there were awkward encounters with doctors and medical personnel. There were new routes explored, new towns navigated, and the feeling of a "smaller" city now that I had a car to get from point A to B. Orange parking ticket enveloped piled up, which culminated into the most inconvenient (but cheapest!) garage across town. Later, I went back to street parking and found that my life revolved around moving the car when it was time for the street cleaner to come by. There were new colleagues, new bosses, and even new companies; Genzyme Genetics broke away from its parent company and found "new parents" in LabCorp. Then there was an even newer boss in the end, and a sales training course unlike anything I'd experienced before. There was some satisfaction and confidence when it started to come together; less and less awkward encounters and more positive interactions and much more autonomy.
Had I missed Kathleen's call, would all of this never have happened? Subsequently, I arranged for an interview that Thursday, January 21. No one showed up. We rescheduled for Monday, February 15, and I met my future boss, and the boss's boss (the latter became my boss when the former left the company). The follow-up interview was on a slushy day the following week, Thursday, February 25, and the call to offer me the job came wile I was in Florida on Friday, March 5.
Had I missed the initial call, I probably would have called right back, and set up the interview. But in the interim, might they have scheduled an interview with someone who would have trumped me? I shall never know. None of us will ever know if we missed "that call" how life may have changed-or not-but either way, here we are. All we can do is look back, reflect, and draw inspiration from those moments we can successfully peg as "live changing."
It was almost a year ago to the date; January 18, 2010. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. I was at the CVS/Pharmacy at 87th and Lexington on my lunch break, pickup up something I had a coupon for (I think they were Life Saver mints, but I can't quite remember). What I do remember, while standing by the greeting card section, is my cell phone ringing. I picked up the phone to screen the call, and noticed a 508 area code on the screen; it was a number I had not saved in my phone. "Hello?" "Hi, is this Joe DeGrandis?" "Yes it is" "Hi, this is Kathleen from Genzyme Genetics." Kathleen went on to tell me a little about their genetics laboratory, about the clients they work with and the sorts of genetic and diagnostic testing they offered. One thing that I remember crystal clear is her telling me that "if offered the job, the company will give you a car to use." At that time, this was so foreign, since I'd lived in New York City for close to seven years and had gotten by sans automobile, usually on foot and via mass transit.
Flash forward to the present. Since that phone call last January 18, I have learned a great deal more about the business of American healthcare as a representative for a laboratory company than I ever thought possible. It's been exhausting, exciting, intriguing, frustrating, and enriching, to say the least. There were crash courses in genetics and reproduction, and there were awkward encounters with doctors and medical personnel. There were new routes explored, new towns navigated, and the feeling of a "smaller" city now that I had a car to get from point A to B. Orange parking ticket enveloped piled up, which culminated into the most inconvenient (but cheapest!) garage across town. Later, I went back to street parking and found that my life revolved around moving the car when it was time for the street cleaner to come by. There were new colleagues, new bosses, and even new companies; Genzyme Genetics broke away from its parent company and found "new parents" in LabCorp. Then there was an even newer boss in the end, and a sales training course unlike anything I'd experienced before. There was some satisfaction and confidence when it started to come together; less and less awkward encounters and more positive interactions and much more autonomy.
Had I missed Kathleen's call, would all of this never have happened? Subsequently, I arranged for an interview that Thursday, January 21. No one showed up. We rescheduled for Monday, February 15, and I met my future boss, and the boss's boss (the latter became my boss when the former left the company). The follow-up interview was on a slushy day the following week, Thursday, February 25, and the call to offer me the job came wile I was in Florida on Friday, March 5.
Had I missed the initial call, I probably would have called right back, and set up the interview. But in the interim, might they have scheduled an interview with someone who would have trumped me? I shall never know. None of us will ever know if we missed "that call" how life may have changed-or not-but either way, here we are. All we can do is look back, reflect, and draw inspiration from those moments we can successfully peg as "live changing."
Monday, January 17, 2011
The Theory
I don't know much about the female gender, but one thing I do know is that, for whatever reason, they seem to be very careful and guarded around strange, new men they meet (unless, of course, they belong to the world's oldest profession, in which case they're not holding back for a second). Living in a city of millions with a dynamic and ever-flowing social scene, I've been fortunate to meet and interact with many people these last few years. The "theory" I have developed involves women who are in relationships. When introduced to a guy she doesn't know, this woman, almost without fail, will somehow mention she has a significant other withing the first 20-30 minutes of conversation. Sometimes, it takes only three. It's usually never forced; "By the way, did I mention I had a boyfriend?" But rather more organic and somehow always woven into the fabric of the conversation, "Oh no way! You're from Cleveland? My boyfriend grew up 20 miles west of Cleveland!" This theory alludes to what I mentioned earlier; that women seem to always be on the defensive, stocking their arsenal with the very predictable "boyfriend" weapon and employing it at the perfect time - before the male even thinks about hitting on her. It makes perfect sense, and it's like clockwork. I'm sure women have used it to fend off "that creepy guy" they somehow got stuck talking to, or better yet, made up fictitious boyfriends if they weren't in the mood to get asked out. Either way, I just start a countdown in my head now when I meet women to that inevitable moment that prince charming is mentioned, and then have to chuckle to myself as once again, the theory holds true!
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