One Way (Do Not Enter)

On December 24, 2008, I fell in love.

This love was not reciprocated.

The unique aspect of this love was not that it was forbidden, but that it was completely unexpected, and initially, more overhwelming than anything I had experienced. I analyzed it in my own mind and wrote it off as misplaced emotion or simply lust, but at the end of the day it consumed me; the more I believed it to be untrue, the more deeper it became and the more I found myself feeling that I needed to attempt to bring it to life.

If love is being on the same wavelength, if it's feeling an unconditional sense of devotion and praise towards another, if it's a feeling of elation when you think about someone; or, if love is embracing the notion that you could change, and examining the WAYS in which you would change, to please or win approval from he or she who is "holding you hostage," then I was in love.

This was not a real love story, with a humble beginning, a turbulent conflict, a glorious union and confirmation of that love, and finally a tragic ending that left us in ruins; this was love on a one-way street. I overextended myself and believed, going against rational thought, that this person had matched my enthusiasm and felt the newfound energy and potential between us, as I had. This was in fact far from the truth. I can only attempt to explain and define what transpired and am only now beginning to accept it for what it was and retire it, peacefully, to memory.