"Excusez-moi! Mademoiselle! Je suis; oui, oui!"

My friend and I recently had a series of conversations about the art, and genesis, of human communication. That is, how and when does one approach another on the street, in a coffeehouse, on public transportation? Is there a design or strategy we must apply, or should we simply utter that magic, universal conversation-starter, "Hi, I'm..."

Subsequently, I began to pay more attention to the human interactions I witnessed, initiated, or those in which I took part. Two of these stood out; one was refreshing and the other abrupt, and a almost hostile.

The first took place on New York's downtown #6 train last Wednesday evening. As I entered the train, I inadvertently walked into a conversation about human beings talking to other human beings. "There's a giant cloud of radiation in Japan, man!" the one bongo player said, emphatically. "If there were a cloud of radiation over New York, maaan, we'd be talkin to each other more! We'd HAVE to! That's what we gotta do, just don't be afraid, and talk to each other!" The other guy chimed in, "We've got all these gadgets and trinkets that keep us busy, look! (pointing at me) This guy's got his iPod with earphones in. Not even paying attention!" Coincidentally, I had the earphones in but no music was playing; thus I heard the dialogue. I took the earphones out, smiled at the one guy, and chuckled quietly. "See! This guy took out the earphones cuz he wants to be part of the conversation!" He then said, staring directly into my eyes," You know the ONE THING we FEAR the most?? Each other!"

They got off the train.

The second encounter was brief, and much colder than the first. While waiting in the bathroom line at a Starbucks, a man approached two women directly behind me. He appeared a bit disheveled, was clad in basic clothing, and came right up to them and spouted off some phrases in French, "Excusez-moi! Mademoiselle! Je suis; oui, oui!" "Get lost," the one woman grumbled. He seemed oblivious to her discomfort, and stuck around. "Like, now! ASAP!" the other woman said. He walked away from them, exited the store, and tried his failed approach again with some people on the street. "Some people..." She sighed. "What a creep!" I don't know what compelled me to say it, but I turned to them and said, "You know, maybe he was just looking for a friend." They smiled, and shrugged. "But I understand maybe that wasn't the best way to go about it," I added. "You gotta be aware of people's personal space." (In truth, the man did come very close to their faces; I think the hostility was the result).

Although one situation differed greatly from the other, the one common link I saw between the two is that people, in general, have some innate desire to communicate with others. How and when they do it is subjective; "to each his/her" own, as they say. I can't write a "one size fits all formula" for how to initiate conversation with someone; in addition, other factors, such as how gentle or forceful you seem, what you're wearing, how you smell, how close or far away you are from the person, also come into play. I suppose I'll use the, "Hi, I'm Joey" approach as a direct yet non-threatening way to create the platform for conversation, but that might not suit another individual on the same quest.

All I can say is, I hope the Starbucks guy will one day run into the two bongo-playing subway dudes; I'd venture to guess that would be a pretty interesting conversation!